The Opposite of a Pet Peeve: Quality Time With My Pets

Dr. Anslow unable to move due to being the preferred perch for his cats

As a clinician I tout the benefits of pet ownership from time to time.  No one needs to reference notable studies that suggest how furry companions confer therapeutic gains to know this - those who know just simply know.  I should, however, mention an important caveat here.  Pet ownership for some people might be contraindicated, particularly for those individuals who suffer from major depression.  It might be an option to consider if there are others around to manage caring for the pet, but a depressed individual living alone has a hard enough time taking care of themselves, much less anybody else.  Still, a pet can offer companionship, promote activity through walks and play, enhance socialization (e.g. meeting or at least being around people at dog parks), and tether somebody to this life by creating a purpose - to live in the service of another.  

But I’m writing this to speak to MY experience of pet ownership.  I grew up as a cat person.  I had vicarious experience with dogs, don’t get me wrong, but my family never adopted one.  I do fondly recall taking my neighbor’s dog Rocky for plenty of walks around the neighborhood.  It gave me a bit of joy to see him feverishly wagging his tail whenever I approached his home.  Anyway, some of the cats I’ve had the pleasure of living with as a child include: Boots, Snowball, Panda, Gizmo, Snoopy (yes, Snoopy), Pewter, and Shadow. As a young adult I adopted chubby (18+ pounds) and affable George who used to sit on my chest and lick my beard and my scrappy New York City girl Jill.  Currently I have fluffy friend to everyone Ella who sometimes greets the neighborhood kids getting off the bus, jumpy Sebastian (aka “Little Dude” or “Doodies”), and my spicy ginger girl Maple aka “Meatball” who will only allow copious amounts of affection if you have her special blanket covering you.    

I know it’s popular to favor dogs and in my opinion that can be due to their generally agreeable and happy demeanor and eagerness to engage.  But cats - that’s another story…

I’ve always maintained that cats are a bit…trickier.  They are often quite a bit more independent and will often choose their humans.  Ella chose me.  That’s not to say that she exclusively “Shnugs” (my affectionate term for snuggling) with me, but she will seek me out most of the time.  As I settle down into my La-Z-Boy Recliner or perhaps lay on the couch it usually doesn’t take long for her to jump up and start revving those pur engines of hers as she posts up on my chest.  I love her tendency to give me gentle little headbutts of affection - I will smooch her plenty on her fluffy little head when she does that, which she seems to appreciate.    

Since adopting Maple aka “Bush Kitty” the dynamic has changed a little.  She is sometimes referred to as “Bush Kitty” to emphasize her origin story.  My wife literally found her in a bush as a kitten and snatched her away after no kitty mother came to retrieve her.  I know - heartbreaking, but at least she has a family now!  She has been a bit more on the hesitant side, but, like I mentioned, she will be very affectionate if you have the original (still unwashed, mind you) blanket we wrapped her up in when we took her home.  Sometimes Maple will have to vie with Ella for lap/chest time, but on rare, very special occasions, I am blessed with both of my kitties at the same time (see photo).  

Then there’s Sebastian aka Bastian or The Bastian aka Little Dood aka Doodies aka Slick Dude or Smoothe Dude aka Buddy Buddy.  I don’t know why I have so many nicknames for him, but he is our sole male kitty and I love him dearly.  He’s a bit more on the skittish side, but seems to have settled a bit over time.  He is probably THE most persistent one when it comes to procuring snacks.  He sometimes resorts to pawing at and/or biting my wife if she will not relent and get him some Temptations treats.  Clearly he has her conditioned.  

Lastly, there’s Luna, which I like to joke is short for “Lunatic.”  She is our black Labrador Retriever who still brings a lot of that puppy energy at 2 years old.  We had another black lab before her - Lacey who was a very anxious dog but who is now at peace.  Poor Luna just wants to play with the cats, but none of them are having it.  Well, Ella is perhaps one exception - she at least tolerates an overly enthusiastic tongue bath from Luna and will often reciprocate.  I think Luna views Ella with envy when she sees her on my lap and wants to be in that position, but she’s way too big and hyperactive!  That’s where my 14 year-old son comes in.  He will forcefully pick up Luna and make her his lap dog, but when she’s actually in that position I think she reconsiders her original desire to be a lap dog.       

Putting my therapist hat back on, I am known to impress upon clients the importance of implementing various aspects of self-care.  I am not a hypocrite in recommending that because I endeavor to do the same.  Spending time with my pets is certainly one aspect of my self-care regimen.  Whether it’s snuggling with or playing with my cats, taking Luna for walks or throwing the ball with her, I am building lifetime bonds with them.  I look forward to spending this quality time with my pets and feel that it brings me a sense of tranquility and connection.  There’s something about a cat’s purr and petting their soft fur that simply puts you at ease and when a dog is jumping excitedly when you’re home it viscerally reinforces that you are loved and appreciated.  Pet ownership may not be for everyone, but it’s certainly suitable for me.