The Habit Trap

We have mythology around habits that they are easy, lets explore this myth and how we can find a more helpful way to change our behavior

Working on any goal is about being consistent with the changes we want to make.  I personally do not like talking about building habits because have expectations about what it means to have a habit that can actually be quite unhelpful. We tend to think that when something is a habit it becomes easy to do and we will just do it because it is a habit. This really isn’t the case. 

Doing a new behavior, even one that we want to do, takes effort and intention. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) we talk about having to bring our brain kicking and screaming into situations so that we can do the activities that align with our goals. Practicing doing so can make it easier but it rarely becomes effortless. 

Consistency is effort and often challenging effort. When thinking about consistency I am often reminded of an old TV commercial where it talked about how there are no rainy days when you are training. Building a skill takes effort and energy. We have to show up for ourselves, even when we don’t want to.

I had the privilege of taking a training with Dr. Kelly Wilson, one of the creators of ACT.  During the training he discussed how he wanted to start practicing yoga.  He signed up for classes and each morning when he went to class he did not want to go.  He discussed how many excuses his brain made for him to not go.  How difficult it was to learn all the moves and how challenging it all felt.  Yet he went.  He went because he put in the effort, he knew he would feel better about himself for showing up.  He noted that many days of his practice he spent the whole session in child’s pose because that was all he could do. 

Not falling for what our brain is telling us is difficult. Our mind will “just one more” us into inaction.  Therapists trained in using techniques from ACT can greatly help you with finding a way to not fall for the tricks our brains can try to pull on us. Learning how to not buy into what your brain is saying can be quite difficult, yet it is vital to helping you build the consistency to achieve your goals. 

For Dr. Wilson, he did stick with yoga and has now become a certified yoga instructor.  I believe though here are still days where he does not want to practice and finds it difficult to do so. While yoga is now easier for him, it isn’t effortless.  Building consistency will take intention and effort.  Having people in your corner, either friends, family, or a therapist or coach can greatly help! 

If you would like to learn more about ACT here are some book recommendations:

The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris

Things Might Go Terribly Horribly Wrong by Kelly Wilson and Troy DuFrene

Got Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life by Steven Hayes